as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
