covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
