So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
