I puked a lego.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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