Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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