Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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