You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
