I think scott just propositioned me for sex
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize