am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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