3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize