I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
