pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Randomize
