There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
