just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
