hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
