i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
