dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
