i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Randomize
