how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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