omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
