Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
