Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
