So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
