Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
