Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
