Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
