There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
