I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
