I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
