i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They are going to name an STD after you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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