I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Send help, water and tortillas.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
