that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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