im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Dignity is for republicans.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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