There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
