he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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