I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
