So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
