I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
