can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
