Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Even my vagina gasped.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Randomize
