He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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