he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
