I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
