Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
