do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
