Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
