Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and she was petting her beer can
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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