there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize