i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
