Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
