in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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