first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
