I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
