actually, I'm a sock model
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
