I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize