you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
